Emotionless
by Marcy Pan
Summary: The mask Cato and Clove are using to hide their true selves may be fooling the people of the capitol, but these lovers have had something that everyone else was totally oblivious about. Will they allow themselves to feel again, or will they fulfill their journey as a heartless pair of careers? Real/Alternate Endings. Rated T for language.


**CLOVE POV**

**The 70****th**** Hunger Games**

Dizzy. I feel very, very dizzy. I'm not sure if it's from watching the Hunger games from beginning to end or that I was basically looking at my future. I wince as the big, muscular man with dark skin from 11, pounded the sense out of the poor kid from 6 with a brick. My vision swerves and I see spots of colored light as the cannon sounds, signaling the end of the games. Thank god it's over; I was about ready to puke. I squeeze my eyes tightly and picture the dead figure of Vivian's cold and helpless body. I refuse to cry. Careers don't cry. Not even over my dead sister.

I pinch the bridge of my nose as a hand lies on my back. I look up and I'm startled to see that it's Vivian herself, sitting next to me as I watch the anthem on the cold floor of my own room.

"V-Vivi? You've returned, for me!" She gives me a sad smile as she pulls away.

"You were killed by the boy from 3 though…? How are you here? How are you home?" Vivi remains silent as the truth finally falls onto me.

"Oh, you're not real are you?" Vivi opens her mouth to speak but my sister silences herself.

"Go on. Speak. I can see you, and I can feel you. Why won't you talk to me? This may be the closest I'll ever get to you for the rest of my life. I miss my sister" I start to break down as Vivi's flowy brown hair starts to lose its color. Her beautiful pale skin is no longer luscious, but sickly and dead. She is dead to the whole world, but why not me? Why do I still see her?

"Why can I see you? Am I…hallucinating? I must be. This is physically…scientifically impossible." Vivi didn't move. She batted her eyelashes a few times but she didn't breathe. Her heart didn't even beat.

"Are you my angel?" I ask stupidly. Of course she's not Clove…remember what mother used to say. Too much hope is dangerous.

"Please talk to me I'm begging you" I start to weep harder. Of course, she doesn't move.

"You're not my angel, you're not alive, and I don't think I'm hallucinating. Why are you here?" I shift from my awkward sitting position. An icy finger lifts from her nearly motionless body and she touches my temple. I allow her to do so and I close my eyes. I hear her soft voice in my head.

_Do not fear what you cannot believe Clove dearest._ At first I don't understand.

"But, what do you mean? What do I not believe? Are you real? Please tell me Vivi" I plead. I don't sob this time. Vivi is not sympathetic and she is annoyed easily. But…can she truly still hear me? Is this really her? I might never find out if I don't ask logical questions. She was a very intelligent person.

"Um…physically, are you real?"

"So you're not real?"

_Of course I am. Nothing is not real…just because I am dead does not mean that I have left you. My dearest Clove, I will never leave you alone._

If I wasn't so messed up in the head I probably wouldn't have believed a word she said. For some reason, it all makes perfect sense. But…why? Was it because it was coming from the most important person in my life? Mother committed suicide when Vivi was reaped, and Dad followed her in. They thought that if she was going to die, life would be better raising her in heaven. They had absolutely no hope in Vivian winning, and I even bet that she would win. Too much hope.

_Mother and Father say hello._

"Oh yeah, they must be pretty happy. They got what they wanted. They can now spend the rest of eternity watching their youngest struggle through life." Vivi smiles.

_Do not fear what you cannot believe Clove dearest. It has been hell. _

"But…I just feel so lost."

_It is ok to feel that sometime. Do not feel anything. Life will bring you to your final destination. There, you may feel. There, you may feel happy._

"But I want to be happy now! I want you, and mom, and dad back here with me."

_With patience, good things will come. No matter how many bad things that will arrive, you need to ignore all the consequences. Don't lose hope. Don't feel, just hope. You will know when your emotions are ready to be released. _

"Wait…you can see my future?"

_Spoilers…_

Then, she vanishes. The cold touch of her icy hand disappears and I am left a hopeless mess. I've been crying, and my mind has literally been thrown everywhere. Was she really there? What did she mean about my feelings? Did she just tell me to become a ruthless, emotionless killer until the time is right? Was that Vivi's final wish? To feel nothing? I may hope, but I can't feel? What does that even mean?

"No! No, please Vivi don't leave me!" I yell into the air.

"I trust you completely! I will not feel…I will wait until you release me. Your dying wish will be fulfilled!" I continue until I collapse onto the hard wooden floor.

"Is this the residence of The Fuhrman's?" A male peacekeeper quietly steps into the room.

I look up from my huddle and I see the man has an emotionless face.

"Y-yes. It is" I stand up and he shoves a package into my hands. It has gold capitol wrapping paper and a red bow tied to the upper right corner. The tag hanging off of the bow was written in beautiful cursive writing. It read _To Clove, Love Vivi. _I didn't want to open it. Luckily, it said; _Do not open until reaping day of the 74__th__ annual hunger games. _I hated waiting, but I would do anything for Vivi.

"May you sign here?" He points to a slip of paper connected to his metal clipboard. I nod and take the pen from his hand and sign it.

"Thank you for your cooperation, and I am deeply sorry about your loss." I smile.

"Thank you" I grip the package a little tighter and I do what I never did before. I gave him a hug. To my surprise, he hugs back. He seemed a little startled at first, but all I needed at this point was a hug. I had lost my whole family, and I was left with a single present from my dead sister.

"Thank you…miss" he leaves quickly and I observe the package.

It looks no bigger than a pillow. I shake it and I hear a small object rolling around in it.

My sister's last wishes; for me to have hope and feel nothing.

My sister's last gift; a mystery. She knows I hate mysteries.

I smirk slightly and I run into my room. I swing open the closet (which I never open) and gently set down the golden package on the floor.

"It's only 4 years" I say to myself.

I notice that I have stopped crying. Thankful of how easy Vivian's wish seems, I plop down on the bed.

Depression immediately waves over me. I can already feel Vivi laughing at me from Heaven. I hold back a waterfall of tears and I sigh.

"Damn this is going to be hard."


End file.
